'Actions may speak louder than words, but until they get to judge your behavior, which can take a while, people will inevitably trust their initial impressions.' (Steve Tobak)
First impressions last really long. And you will never get a second go at it. That is why the first things you do will tell a story and leave a mark that’s going to stick around for long, if not permanently: the things you say when you first meet someone, the way you come across in that first presentation, the way you treat your friend’s siblings the first time you visited, the way you approached your first job, the way you spent your first earnings…
Surprisingly many of us don’t seem to care – or we care too much about the less important things. I am sure one of the first things that will come to your mind as you read this will relate to appearance - what people see you wearing. Of course, that's right - one of my brothers actually told me many years ago that when you're meeting people for the first time, you will be addressed the way you're dressed. Now that's true; but up to a limit. Judging by my own experience (and you're free to compare yours) the idea of first impression deals with the way people appear when I first meet them, TOGETHER WITH the things they say, their level of alertness and above all, their attitude - which unfortunately can’t be concealed! Your dressing only creates a good impression if you don’t speak at all (which leaves people thinking ‘Wow, isn’t that dress nice!’) or you say something really smart (otherwise people will only think ‘This is an idiot in a good dress!’).
Recent research has actually shown the power of first impressions. Naturally, most of us will treat people subsequently on the basis of how they have come across to us the first time we met. Even if we find later that our initial impressions are wrong, it takes time before we shift gears. I quote from the work of Bertram Gawronski and co at the University of Western Ontario: ‘When something that violates the first impression occurs, it is treated as an exception from the rule, rather than as an objective reality.’ And how does this relate to success? Because you need to be in the right company for you to go in the right direction and go fast (see the post on keeping good company). Leaving people with the wrong initial impressions of you only deflates your circle of influence.
Of course you can correct a wrong first impression but it’s expensive. “What is necessary is for the first impression to be challenged in multiple different contexts,” says Gawronski. That’s a natural experiment that even scientists know is hard to set up. Who wants to stick around to observe you all over the place when they already have decided that you’re not worth walking with?
