MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 16: They serve

Hi. As the year 2010 draws to a close, I believe you will also be taking stock. Taking stock of the things you did and did not do, the thinks you thought and did not think, the things you said and did not say and the places you went and did not go. I am doing that and in my thinking I ask my self one critical question: For how many people did I make things happen?

I can count a handful of those but as I reflected further, I came to the conclusion that making things happen for people is probably not the most important thing. Of much greater importance is making people! How many dreams have I helped to realise? How many people have I slowed down? How many people have I inspired or discouraged?

I am still taking stock and I reckon you want to do the same. For that reason I have put up the 16th part in my series on personal success. I have chosen this time for this because I strongly believe that it's all about service, whether we will find fulfillment or not. So I charge you to look back and see how well you've served and take a decision to do better in the coming year. 

What follows is the post MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 16: They serve. In it I have placed a few books that helped me and that I think might help you too. The quotes in the post do not necessarily come from those books but they are by/about the same men whose quotes I have used. Feel free to leave your comments or questions. See you on the other end!

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‘None have one chance in a billon of being thought of as really great a century after they’re gone except those who have been servants of all’ 

(Harry Fosdick)

True success is in service: Being for others what you want others to be for you. Your willingness to serve others determines how much others will be willing to do for you. You will never find anyone who will do anything for you if you never do anything for anyone.

‘Life is a lot like the game of tennis. Those who do not serve well end up losing’ (John Mason)

Believe it on not, the more you desire to serve (and the more you actually serve) and serve well, the more you will be served.  Whoever you are, you must put others before yourself if you want to amount to something.  Imagine a manufacturer thinking of profits from the sales of his products before thinking of what his consumers will like.  You know as well as l do that his business is headed for disaster. 

Happiness and satisfaction come from knowing that you are making someone better.  Albert Schweitzer got it round when he said that the only ones who will really be happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.  Greatness, according to Martin Luther King, Jr., is truly measured in servant hood. ‘

' The measure of life is not in its duration but in its donation,’ says Peter Marshall, ‘everyone can be great because everyone can serve.’

‘The greatest secret of success is to find a need and fill it’ (Robert H. Schuller)

So long? Yes. Too long? You decide...

"In his overall 53 years in broadcasting, King amassed 50,000 interviews, 6,120 shows in CNN's archives, 10 Cable ACE Awards, an Emmy, a Peabody and an entry in the Guinness World Records for having the longest-running show with the same host in the same time slot."

-Michael Martinez, edition.cnn.com (December 17, 2010)

This is like a story and a commentary. In 25 years, this 77-year-old man interviewed thousands who - in the words of one of his last guests - 'made us laugh, made us cry and made us think'. He said himself that 'I never thought it would be last this long or come to this'. He announced in June this year that he was going to be stopping his award-winning interview show this month. And true to his words, his last show was aired on December 16, 2010.

I hoped that someone would talk to him about how he got to where he is but I really didn't get it. Looking at his profile, I realised that Larry King is where he is today - with the awards, the niche, and the style - simply because he wouldn't quit!

I'll tell you why.

He was born to a Jewish-American man and a Belarusian immigrant mother. Not with a silver spoon. Neither of his parents wore a blue or white collar. King was young when his father died and his mother had to support him and his brother. Partly due to his father's death, Larry stopped wanting to go to school, and occasioned by the family hardship, he had to start working after high school to help support his brother.

Having been always interested in radio, he saw an opportunity when a CBS announcer told him about openings in Miami. And the rest is history; but it is from that history that the morals of my story lies. Take time to read through.

1. In my experience, many times we know we have big dreams but given our circumstances, we are compelled to start small. Does that sound like you? Please don't quit. Most people do not know that he had to change his surname because his General Manager thought his original name, Zeiger, was too ethnic. What does that mean? Larry was too low on the 'food chain' that he had no choice but comply for him to keep the job! Of course we could also talk about personal interests and all but under the circumstances, it was hard for him to resist. And what was that job that took his name away? He was hired to clean and perform miscellaneous tasks in a Miami radio station for 55 USD a week.

2. If we stay on long enough, a break will come one day. Larry got his first airtime when an announcer resigned. Same station, same pay! That was on May 1, 1957 when he was DJ from 9am-12noon, cast the news twice in the afternoon and later did a sportscast. Little, isn't it? But it was still an opportunity, isn't it?

3. Larry's first interview was done for another radio station in Miami. What he had to do was to take on anyone who walked into a particular restaurant. Guess who was his first guest? A waiter at the restaurant! He did that job conscientiously until one day, a famous singer who had heard Larry's interviews on radio walked in...and that was the first celebrity! If you do that little thing well enough, one day a celebrity will come visiting. It may not be a singer or a public figure. Your celebrity could be the woman you should marry or the job you should do or anything that is to move you forward. For Larry, it was Bobby Darin the singer. It is said that it was that radio show that turned him into a local star.

4. He did many things thereafter but I'd only focus on my morals, the last of which is his consistency. When a man consistently performs high, it is only a matter of time before he rises to the top of his world. I am rolling two things into one here: Consistency means that you do the same thing for a long time and you don't give up (make sure that thing is right because the longer you do a wrong thing, the more confused and unhappy you become); and consistency means that you perform well all the time. That describes Larry, the man that would not quit. At the age of 52, Larry King Live started on CNN. And that is what we celebrate today. Most of what I have written in points 1-3 you probably did not know, but you will most likely know Larry King Live. At 52, most of us would already be dreaming of retirement, believing that it's too late. Today Larry is 77 and he is a name that will stay on the screen and in the air for a really long time.

If I have to say everything in one sentence, it will be: Why would you quit? It may be so long, but do you think it could ever be too long?

Finally, I make an important caveat: Please quit immediately once you realise that what you're doing is not right for you; but be careful how you determine what's right or wrong because THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.

PS: A new programme anchored by Piers Morgan will take the place of Larry King Live from January but I have a feeling that for many months after now, many will still tune in expecting to see Larry!

So long? Yes! Too long? I don't know. You decide...

"In his overall 53 years in broadcasting, King amassed 50,000 interviews, 6,120 shows in CNN's archives, 10 Cable ACE Awards, an Emmy, a Peabody and an entry in the Guinness World Records for having the longest-running show with the same host in the same time slot."

-Michael Martinez, edition.cnn.com (

For 3 great, great things

O God, the Lord that brought me here

For being my Guide, the One in all

The only God who lives above

And says the things He wants to do

None of which will not be done

I choose this space and day and time

Three great, great things to thank You for:

Oluwatosin, who completes me

And adds much meaning to my life

Oluwasemiloore, the real 'big girl'

The child of the God of Psalm 50

And me, of course, a local boy

Whom you're leading to be great!

So much for 30 days

Exactly 30 days ago today, I took the riskiest step of my life so far. One that will define my essence for the rest of my life. It's very personal and highly costly so it's only natural for me to take account as I move along. What I stepped into will occupy me for the next 3 years, and toady the first month ends...

I look behind and count the days

"When did these pass?" I ask myself

And then my answer came,

so frank yet calm and still:

"When you were climbing up and down

Taking steps both right and wrong

Those 30 days took them all in

And passed the way of those before;

For pass they must - and go they will

if you have not planted in them."

O Lord my God help me I pray

In every day something to plant

That even though the day does pass

It grows my seed, that I may reap

Hmm...so much for 30 days!

Innovation Systems and Capabilities in Developing Regions by Willie Siyanbola, Abiodun Egbetokun, Olumuyiwa Olamade and Boladale Adebowale

Innovation Systems and Capabilities in Developing Regions by Willie Siyanbola, Abiodun Egbetokun, Olumuyiwa Olamade and Boladale Adebowale

You want to acquire and read this book when it comes out. For a long time now, much planning has been done by nations in developing parts of the world on the basis of 'received theory'. Believe me, this is not going to take us anywhere. On the basis of this understanding, this book collects hard empirical evidence from researchers across several continents to show, among other things, the lessons that are relevant for innovation policies in developing countries.

Waiting Patiently, Waiting Right

I did not pray or read my Bible before leaving the house today. I knew that was wrong so I promised myself that I would do that first thing in the office, and I did. The single verse I read was from James chapter 5; simple yet with profound meaning for me.

⁷My friends, be patient until the Lord returns. Think of farmers who wait patiently for the spring and summer rains to make their valuable crops grow. (CEV)

That verse admonishes 'friends' to be patient until Jesus comes back again. In that context, a friend would refer to those who are of a common faith that the Lord Jesus walked teh face of this earth, died to save lost man and ascended physically to heaven only for him to be on his way back sometime in the unknown future (all we know is that the future is now nearer than ever). Are you a 'friend'?

The point that struck me most, however, was the parallel drawn from the farmers' expectation. Upon careful thought, I understood the following:

1. No farmer has any reason to expect anything if he has not planted anything. In other words, whether the rains come or not, it makes almost no difference for the lazy farmer who placed no seed in the ground. So, while we await the Lord's return, part of our waiting activities should be that of sowing, that we may have something to look forward to. Are you planting?

2. No farmer would expect to reap something different from what he had sown. That is common sense! It does not matter how much and how long the rain falls, one who has planted corn cannot reap onions. That tells me that the type of seed sown is the type of plant that will grow and the type of harvest to be gained. While James 5:7 does not expressly mention harvest, you and I know that the main reason why farmers want to see their plants grow is so that they might have assurances of a good harvest. What are you planting?

3. I then saw that there is a season of the rains. James 5:7 calls it the 'spring and summer'. Every farmer must have planted before then, otherwise they would not be waiting for the rains to make their valuable crops grow. The message is then simple: Plant now, before the rains come!

What’s value?

As I watched the coverage of the UK’s much-talked-about Royal Engagement on CNN earlier this evening, I just could not help asking myself, ‘Where will this end?’ Forgive my unholy curiosity but if you know what I know, you will most likely ask the same questions. The last royal wedding in the UK cost so high. Even though the total expenditure was not reported, we now know that the engagement ring was worth £30,000 in 1981 (the equivalent of today’s £85,700). How large is the ring? Just the size of a walnut. What is it made of? 14 small diamond pieces surrounding a sapphire. Who made it? London-based crown jewellers, Garrard & Co. The wedding dress, with a 25-foot train, was worth £9,000 in 1981. That’s roughly equal to £25,700 today – £4,700 more than what many a full wedding would cost today. Today, the average cost of a complete wedding is estimated at £21,000. That is clearly extravagant and shows, to me, some misplaced priority. The day of the wedding was declared a national holiday in the UK; and the whole world watched in awe (the estimated live audience for that wedding was over 750 million) as the world’s most famous royal family took among its ranks a beautiful damsel by the name of Diana Frances Spencer. Fifteen years and two months later, the marriage, despite its extensive celebration, ended in divorce. The story here begs a plain question: rather than spend that much on the pomp and pageantry surrounding the wedding, shouldn’t much more investments have been made into fidelity and honour on which the wedding should rest?

Well, a reflection of values it is!

In case you don’t know, the world is beginning to talk about the cost of Prince William’s wedding and where the money will come from; and somehow, the Royal accounts are not smiling. Pundits say that if the queen is not careful about dipping into the reserve fund built for her in the 1990s, it will run out by her Diamond Jubilee in 2012. To that end, total Royal Household spending is to be cut by 14 per cent in 2012/13 based on the Queen’s agreement; the £50,000 Christmas Party of Buckingham Palace has been cancelled and demands are being made by The Department for Culture for a 25% cut in maintenance costs for the palaces and Royal travel costs (this maintenance cost alone costs the Culture Department up to £15m annually). To make matters worse, the Royal Wedding is expected to come much ahead of the Queen’s jubilee, adding pressure to the government's depleted purses and further threatening the Queen's reserve funds. I can guess what you’re thinking: Can’t they simply reduce this spending? Must the wedding cost so much?

Well, I don’t know but it’s a question of value systems.

Earlier this year, Sweden's Crown Princess Victoria married her personal trainer Daniel Westling. The wedding took $11.4m of Swedish public funds – even in the presence of economic crises and the ongoing debate in the country over the future of the monarchy.

What do you make of all of these? For me, it’s a simple question: what does value mean to you, to me and to them?

Supported with material from http://www.channel4.com/news/prince-williams-wedding-who-will-pay and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garrard_%26_Co

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 15: They Prize Counsel

‘Sometimes, a single conversation with the right person can more valuable than many years of study’. (John Mason)

Counsel does not mean advice. Most people take them to mean the same thing. They may be synonymous but they’re not the same. While advice is the adviser’s opinion, counsel is simply the counselor’s analysis or appraisal. Advice comes in pieces but have you ever heard anyone speak of a piece of counsel? An adviser tells you what he thinks you should or could do; a counsellor shows you the options and helps you understand them, then the choice is yours to make!

Anyone who is serious about success will care to know that the most important things are not people’s opinions (honest or not) but their sincere analysis or appraisal of you or what you do. That’s why sportsmen keep coaches. Imagine you are a sprinter. You just ran a race and came last. You meet your coach and all he has to say is, ‘You should have run faster.’ Days turn into weeks and he says nothing more. I can bet you won’t keep that coach.

But if he approaches you and says, ‘You didn’t make it out there because you didn’t run fast enough. Your steps were stiff and your thighs didn’t pump high enough. Again, you were landing flat footed.’ And then he goes on to tell you how to correct those errors. I bet you’ll keep that coach.

By now you should know how counsel differs from advice. People don’t succeed on only pieces of advice - just like you can’t live on pieces of food. You need meals. You need counsel. Your peace depends on it.

‘In the multitude of counselors there is safety’ (King Solomon)

Today...Would you believe this?

I'm writing this post for two main reasons: to let as many people as will read this know what our country is becoming or has become like, and to cover myself in case someone wants to do anything tricky. (I know that this post is time-stamped).

As I approached Mayfair roundabout (that's in Ile-Ife, Osun State) this morning - the time was going to 10 am - I was stopped for checks by an officer of the Rapid Response Squad (RRS) of the Mobile Police Unit. He simply asked for my Learner's Permit and an amber light went on in my head.

"This man can't be serious", I thought.

First, he stopped me on an incline despite seeing the 'L' symbol. Anyone that knows anything about traffic knows that is very wrong. You don't stop a learner on an incline right after a very bad portion of the road for that matter. (I noticed much later during my ordeal that they did the same to a woman who was a 'real' learner and she nearly could not get going anymore.)

Second, I was not a learner at all so I wondered why he did not even bother to find out before asking for the permit he demanded.

Anyway, I told him my wife was the learner and not me; I left the 'L' sign on because I was tired of removing it each time I wanted to drive and re-mounting it each time she needs to. He demanded for my driver's licence and I obliged. Upon returning it, he demanded to see my papers and I also obliged, then he asked me to park properly. Still on the slope! That was against my better judgement so I got out, assessed my position and got back in the car to re-park properly. It beat my imagination completely when the officer, who at that time had walked away from me with my papers, suddenly shouted to hi colleague who was 'dealing' with another driver right in front of me, "Hey, officer, no let that man go, who ask am make im dey go!"

I just smiled when the man in front of me reacted by accusing me of wanting to abscond. My 'detainer' also came running, directly accusing me, "So you wan run, abi? I don tell u make u dey go? I don release you?" I laughed again because I wondered, "Release? Am I under arrest so soon?"

At that I demanded to know what the issue was and for the first time in almost 20 minutes, the officer looked through my papers! "So why did he collect them in the first place?" I couldn't help asking myself. He then looked at me and asked for my roadworthiness and vehicle licence. I was amused becuase though a copy of my vehicle licence was not included in the set of copies I had given him, but a copy of the payment evidence for it was included; my MOT Test Result Certificate which was still within its validity was also included. "So what does this man want?"

His next statement shocked me. "Oga, so what are we going to do about your roadworthiness and vehicle licence now?"

"I have everything intact and you know it. If you want to see the originals, my house is not far, I could quickly go and bring them now...but don't think I would ever turn them over to you."

But he was not interested.

"Oga," I said, "don't delay me otherwise I would leave you here with those copies and go my way." His next reaction surpirsed me. He nearly poked my nose with my papers and yelled at me, "I will embarass you now...if you like yourself, enter that car and move and see what I will do to you!" Guess what? I just went to my front apssenger seat, picked a book from inside my car, reclined my seat and started to read. Three acquaintances of mine from the Obafemi Awolowo University (I choose to withhold their names but they comprise a subordinate, a former subordinate now working elsewhere in town and a respected lecturer of the Obafemi Awolowo University) met me there and I explained the situation, letting them know that I would patiently wait.

Later, my 'friend' officer came and demanded for my driver's licence again and I blatantly declined. I told him why - and I'd tell you, too. Realising that I was serious with my threat to leave him with the copies of my papers once I got fed up - afterall, they were only photocopies; and he had seen stickers of my very respectable office on my windscreen so he knew I did nothing out of fear and would not be intimidated easily - he anted to hold my original driver's licence so he could really delay me. Of course, it stands to reason because he must believe that I wouldn't want to leave my original documents with him.

As I spoke with him, insisting not to give him my licence again after having seen it the first time.

"You saw it earlier, what more do you want to see on it?"

"Just give me, I wan see am again"

"Why? Ask me anyhting you want to know from my driver's licence and I will tell you. I know everything offhand"

"No question me, just give me"

Then a colleague of his came and demanded to know what happened. Of course, I explained clearly. This second officer gently approached me, softly spoke and asked to see my driver's licence.

"Oga, I will show you because you've not seen it before. Do you know what your man wants to do? He wants to just delay me and that's why he's asking for it so I will not give him!"

What I expected was what happened. As soon as I handed it over, my 'friend' literally snatched it and went away, saying triumphantly, "Ehn ehn! Go now if you want."

I just turned to the other officer and said, "See what I meant". He said nothing but only walked away. I went back to my reading.

He then came back to me and asked, "So what do you want to do about the matter now."

I frankly made him realise I was not going to do anything, whatever he meant. As a matter of fact, I would not mind remaining with them till evening, if need be.

He went back to his work and I got back to my reading. At about 11:30 am, I looked at my car again and remembered that what took me in that direction in the first instance was that I was going to the car wash. So I called my 'friend' and told him I needed to get to the car wash. He could not or did not stop me (whatever).

On my return, all of the officers at the roundabout had gone into a nearby alcohol stall. I managed to find them because I saw one of them that bought food from a nearby food shop and went into the drinks stall. I went there and was amazed! These officers were apparently on break but they were drinking heavily. I did not count but several empty and full bottles of Gulder adorned the tables in front of them.

I detested what I saw so I got to business quickly.

"Oga, I really don't like what you're doing. I've been patient enough. Just give me my licence and let me go."

It was not my friend that responded, another officer did and he demanded to see my other papers, which I quickly fetched from my car. Upon seeing it, that man again repeated the roadworthiness and vehicle licence matter. I simply told them how new my car was and and why none of my very authentic documents could not have expired. At that, nearly all of them became furious and one even retorted that I was trying to prove a point rather than say I was sorry. I was taken aback. Sorry for what? Eventually, the officer who responded when I first got there collected my licence, pocketed it and claimed that he would not release it, saying, "Leave am, make im come collect am from me."

I simply turned to the man to whom I had given my original driver's licence and said, "You see now? I told you this is what will happen. You see how they are treating me now? And this is why I did not want to release my original licence."

I left after that, went to the Divisional Police HQ in Moore to report my licence missing. The officer I spoke with told me I needed to go and swear an affidavit which I would take to their Area Commander's Office. Being a Saturday, that will not happen.

I really don't know what to make of the whole saga but I have a candid advice for the police administrators - PLEASE PUT YOUR MOST INTELLIGENT MEN ON THE ROAD. What is a police officer's business with driver's licence? What authorities do they have to keep my original licence?

Just for the records, by this time tomorrow, I'd be on a flight to Europe and by the time I'm back, that licence would no longer be valid.

Of course, I have not mentioned any names here because I did not even bother to look at any of their tags; but someday, someone will. Someday, someone will go to court. Right now, someone has to take responsibility!!!

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 14: They work with people

‘You don’t always have all the information, know-how, or time you need to overcome the obstacles between you and goals’ (Don Gabor)

From the very beginning, man has been seen to work best in teams. The Creator did not see His work as complete unlit he gave man a helper in the garden of Eden. No man can succeed all by himself. There must he inputs from others. Knowing how to get the best from the people around you brings out the best in you.

The dynamics of achievement leaves no room for isolation. I am yet to know of any man on top who got there absolutely by himself. While you concentrate on your work, someone takes care of the details for you.

Getting inputs from others is what Don Gabor called ‘using outside resources’ in his book, Big Things Happen when you do the little things right’. He said, ‘By using outside resources, you can focus on what you do best and attain the help you need to achieve your dreams. Surround yourself with the best people you can find.’ And I say, make these people feel important.

Make them share in the success. The importance of this is illustrated in the following story.

A master pianist once played in a concert before a large audience. He had played many great pieces and was enthusiastically applauded. At a point, he stood up, doffed his hat and bowed to the crowd, saying; ‘Now I’m going to conclude by playing Beethoven’s 8^th symphony’. To his utter dismay, when he sat down and fingered the keyboard, no sound came out. Now, it was in those days when someone had to stay backstage to pump the bellows. Not knowing what was wrong, the pianist thumbed angrily on the piano. Still, no sound. Then a little head peeped from behind the curtains and whispered, ‘Say “We”.

‘The single most important word in our language (American English) is “We” (Michael LeBoeuf)

5 MAJOR INCENTIVES FOR BEING IN A TEAM

I have read a lot about teams and teamwork: John Maxwell, Brian Tracy, Myles Munroe, Ben Carson, Norman Vincent Peale, and Mike Murdock…. and they all seem to agree unequivocally on one thing.

Since the age of 18 when I became a member of the Executive Committee of my church, I had also realised that encouraging people to work in a team with true team spirit is crucial to the success of the team. Leaders have to show everyone on the team why it’s important that they work together. At that time, my pastor had not much difficulty convincing everyone to see a common end and work towards it – after all, everyone on the committee wanted to be blessed by God!

Since then, I have seen leaders who never really got their teams off the ground because the members just wouldn’t ‘blend’ – they were always kind of ‘oil in water’. Unfortunately for me – maybe fortunately if I factor in the lessons I’ve learnt – I have been in similar situations before, some of which I pulled through but others I simply gave up on.
As I read from John Maxwell’s Teamwork Makes the Dream Work this afternoon, I noticed he quoted the words of King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12. There and then I was inspired to write this piece. For every leader who has had some hard time getting people to work together, and for everyone who seems not to be so convinced it’s useful after all to work in a team. The message here is one I have never really come across in any of the works on teamwork I have read – at least not in this form.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (Young’s Literal Translation, boldface emphasis mine)
9 The two are better than the one, in that they have a good reward by their labour.
10 For if they fall, the one raiseth up his companion, but wo to the one who falleth and there is not a second to raise him up!
11 Also, if two lie down, then they have heat, but how hath one heat?
12 And if the one strengthen himself, the two stand against him; and the threefold cord is not hastily broken.

From the passage, I can identify 5 major incentives for being in a team.
1. Superior returns. Look at the phrase ‘good reward’. The term reward refers to something you get in return for something you’ve done. Every person would get more for what he does together with others than from what he does alone. That is always true in the long run even if it appears not so in the short term.

2. Superior resilience. ‘the one raiseth up his companion’ suggests to me that team players recover from shocks or downfalls much more quickly than loners.

3. Superior comfort. In the context of the quoted passage, ‘heat’ refers to the warmth received from staying close to others especially during cold weather. Those who are married would understand that better! It is much more comfortable to stay in a team for that is when one would truly have cover from the vicissitudes of life.

4. Reduced vulnerability. In the face of adversity, ‘two stand against’. That suggests that extra strength from other team members is always available to fight with. In essence, the vulnerability of each team player is significantly reduced.

5. Reduced volatility. Something is volatile if it disappears so quickly. For every loner, the absence of the foregoing four benefits makes it easier for them to snap under stress. A team player is like s strand in a length of twined rope. To break him completely, you have to break the entire team. Even if a strand of twined rope is broken, it apparently stays intact unless it begins to fall away from the rest of the strands. It becomes much less useful – if at all – once it completely falls of the ‘team’. It’s the same for us all; we are much less volatile when we stay in our teams. If we want to be lone rangers, then we’d be easily broken and quickly forgotten.

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 13: They are Dependable

‘Are you known by the promises you don’t keep?’ (John Mason)

A dependable man is one who can be relied on. When he talks you can hold on to what he says. When you share secrets with him you can rest assured. When you give him an assignment you can go on break. A dependable man will do things well, whether being supervised or not. In short, dependability is about the greatest ability anyone can have.
Being dependable entails honesty, commitment, sincerity and transparency. A serious-minded man does not take long to realize that without being dependable he can’t get anywhere. People will come to believe in you based on how dependable you have proven yourself.
I once paid a photographer – student of mine upfront to print some pictures for me. I rarely do that anyway, but I did it in his own case. This boy normally delivers after three days if l didn’t pay him upfront – and I never owed him. However, it took him well over three week to deliver the picture I paid him upfront for. He never had my patronage again! A tailor once told me that he could sew trousers for me after a certain design. He boasted so confidently that l felt I’d be wrong if l didn’t allow him. Guess what? He gave me traditional wears instead of Western designs. The result? I never patronized him again.
Be a professional, an artisan, a trader or what-have-you, your success depends on your dependability.
‘The North Star is much smaller to the eye than the moon yet it’s so dependable that the sailor can guide his ship by it’

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 12: They are Mature

‘If you’re hunting rabbits in tiger country, you must keep your eyes puled for tigers, but when you are hunting tigers you can ignore the rabbits’ (Henry Stern)

Maturity refers to the state of being fully developed, perfected and ready. It is marked in human beings by the possession of sound judgement, right sense of value and temperance. Maturity has nothing to do with chronological age and it is principally evident in what you do say and do not say. A Yoruba adage says, “Oju ni agba n ya, agba kii ya enu’ (Elders are quicker to see than to speak)
All things are lawful but not all things are expedient. It takes a mature mind to distinguish. You are beginning to mature when the things you say are more of original actions than stimulated reactions. People who exhibit this character generally command so much respect.
On the road to success, a lot of self – control, self-denial, discipline and clear–mindedness is required. Only mature minds possess these qualities. Men that know what to ignore at any point in time. Men that can forgo momentary pleasure for lasting values. Men like Joseph who can say ‘No’ to Potiphar’s wife. These the are real candidates for success. Men and not children.
‘Woe to you, O land, when your king is a child and your princes feast in the morning’ (King Solomon, the preacher)

On Integrity

‘Wise men are men of their word. The quality of a man’s life is in direct proportion to the integrity and quality of his word’. (Matthew Ashimolowo)

You are only as good as your word. Being a successful person is not all about being comfortable or ahead of others. Can you be entrusted with money? Can you be taken at your word? I would rather be poor than live a liar. Honesty and integrity go hand-in-hand. “The test of your wisdom may be your ability to walk in honesty” (Matthew Ashimolowo).
Dishonest men have a problem: they have to struggle to remember what they said sometimes ago so that they don’t say something different now. Recent researches have even shown that you burn much more energy when you lie. Your whole body system is also upset. That is exactly what the lie detecting machine exploits.
When falsely accused of extra-marital affairs by a certain woman with whom he had lived in the same neighborhood, Dr. Ben Carson had to depend on his honest way of life to maintain the confidence of his family and associates. Commit this to heart: one day, when the chips are down and everything seems to go wrong, then the strength of your integrity will determine your fate. Woe betide the man who, on such days, is found to be a fake.
‘Hold integrity high, your life may one day depend on it’.
(John Mason)