GRAVITY

I'm still writing about influence, and that's what you're still reading about. This time, the specific issue is the force of gravity and the lessons on influence that can be drawn from its characteristics.
 

In everyday English language use, gravity is a noun which refers to 

1. the seriousness or importance of something (always something, never someone!);
2. seriousness of attitude, synonymous with the noun gravitas which means a serious and impressive way of conducting oneself; or
3. a type of physical force which the sun, moon or other massive object exerts to attract another object towards itself. It is in this third sense that I speak of gravity here.

By definition, the weight of an object is defined by the force of gravity that the earth exerts on its mass. Mass, in turn, refers to the amount of matter (or substance, if you like) that is in an object. These definitions point out one important fact. No matter how much matter an object contains, its weight is always going to be determined by the amount of gravity it experiences. 

That is why, for example, objects weigh much less on the moon. One kilogram on earth barely weighs more than 160 grams on the moon. And in outer space (I mean where astronauts go in rockets and not just outside your house) one enters the realm of what is called 'weightlessness'. This refers to apparent lack of weight irrespective of how much substance any object contains. Why? It's simply because there is no source of gravity in outer space. 

If we go by the definition of weight in the sense of the influence or importance that something or someone has, then we can see clearly from the foregoing that we're all practically useless without some form of gravity - some compelling, inescapable, higher-level influence. And it is no accident that gravity has to come from a relatively larger object. A smaller object does not exert gravity on one that is larger. By extension, everyone who runs away from heavier responsibilites, loftier goals, stricter discipline (or any other form of gravity that you can think about) will most likely never amount to anything. To anyone who has ever seen how things float around in outer space or are simply too reluctant to move will not find it hard to understand that.

Now, the verb gravitate connotes attraction or interest. To gravitate towards people generally means being attracted towards and going to be with them. To gravitate towards something broadly means being interested in that thing to the extent of wanting to do or have it. The hidden meaning in this verb becomes obvious when we take it together with the meaning of gravity as discussed above. Gravity is non-negotiable; once an object comes close enough to the source of gravity, it will definitely gravitate. 

This simple but powerful truth has two practical implications. One, it is very crucial to choose carefully who or what one moves close to so as to avoid gravitating in the wrong direction. Two, it is important to consistently seek to perform better and live for a higher purpose; this serves as a source of gravitational pull otherwise one's life ends up weightless.

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 22: They have a sense of purpose

I have found that all ugly things are made by those who strive to make something beautiful, and that all beautiful things are made by those who strive to make something useful. (Oscar Wilde)

There are two dimensions to purpose: the first concerns the basis for our existence, the kind of thing that Darwin wanted to explain away; the second has to do with defining a reason for everything we do.

In the first sense, purpose is the ‘why’, the rationale for everything that is exogenously defined: the reason why you’re here, the reason why you’re not dead yet, the reason why you’re a male or female, the reason why you’re black or white, the reason why you have those parents, and so on. What this implies is that one will always underperform when out of purpose. You will never rise to the fullness of your potential unless you’re doing what you were designed for in the first place. For instance, if you had a nice Ferrari parked in your garage and a tree just fell across the road in front of your house, would you use your Ferrari or an ugly chain saw? To the Intelligent Designer who made you, there’s something you should be doing, and until you’re doing it, you’re under-utilized, wrongly utilized or utterly useless.

In the second sense, purpose is your ‘why’ for whatever you do – your choice. Daniel Pink, in his bestseller, Drive – The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, brings out strongly the power of purpose as a determinant of better performance and self satisfaction. The main idea is that when people do things for a specific reason – a purpose that is higher than themselves or any mundane considerations, their performance hits the skies! And that is being proven true everyday: Google, Skype, Apache, Facebook…all started with a clear mission, something of a need they wanted to fulfill. So, in general, purposeful people tend to perform consistently better; purposeful businesses grow faster; purposeful athletes last longer…Why? Because they do whatever they do for a reason – and even more, they know what their reasons are for doing those things. 

If only you will take the time to find out the ‘why’, you will spend much less time worrying about the ‘what’.

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 21: They Keep Good Company

‘Success is as much a product of being in the right company as it is of working hard. If you look for success secrets in the Bible, never read Proverbs 22:29 without reading Psalm 1:1!’

The moral is very simple: hard work, diligence, commitment, passion and everything like these virtues will take you really far but the truth is how fast you go most often depends on what company you’re in. Think about when you wrote the references part of your CV. Except you’re from some planet where nothing makes sense, you must have had two primary concerns when you selected those whose names you put in that section: one, they must know you, at least; and two, you must have some certainty that they know you ‘well’ – ‘well’ in this sense meaning that they know well enough to say some good things about you. In fact, if there’s anyone that knows you ‘unwell’ and you’re aware of that, such person would probably never get listed on your CV as a referee. Why don’t your grades or records of achievement matter here?

In my short life experience, I have seen people’s connections make the difference for them. This teaches me all the more that it’s not only about how much you know, but also about whom you know! People get admitted into top-rated colleges just on the recommendation of the right person; people get jobs by bearing a note from someone that matters; businesses sometimes break through by referrals; and the examples can continue of how the right connections can make. There are also many ready examples of how the wrong connections can mar. In fact, a time comes in the life of everyone when all that matters is just whom we know and/or hang around. That is why the most successful people that you will find around hang around with similar people – and the same goes for the most wretched people.

Give a lot of time to keeping in touch with good people; stay in touch with people who share your values; network with your peers who have a sense of purpose; keep a good address book, an up-to-date email list and a business card holder. Go for that conference to meet people, subscribe to that mailing list, join that professional association – do all you can to put yourself in the right company and stay there, it will definitely pay off!

 

‘A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years' study of books.’ (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion, Chapter VII. Quoted from the Chinese)