MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 19: They would rather be right than be popular

 If my life is fruitless, it doesn't matter who praises me; if my life is fruitful, it doesn't matter who criticizes me (John Bunyan)

Success, it's been argued, is a matter of choice; and there are choices we make, I argue, that invalidate the opinions of others. For everyone who has lived through the generations past until now, the huge differences in the number of options available for getting things done is much more glaring. For instance, until 1971 it was impossible to send e-mails; you had to wait for weeks to get messages around via regular post. Today, the options are allmost limitless. That's just one example out of many. But with the new possibilities new threats have also come, and it is becoming increasingly difficult for poeople to decipher right from wrong. The end, it seems, always justifies the means.

But for everyone that would truly succeed, there would be an absolute standard of choice: the right things at all times as far human fallibility would allow. More often than not the right choice is unpopular, and could even attract stigmatisation! Nonetheless, the men whose names we remember in honour today almost all made these unpopular choices and that made all the difference. I borrow the words of Robert Frost to finish this off:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

'The Road Not Taken' in Frost, R. (1920). Mountain Interval. New York: Henry Holt and Company

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 12: They are Mature

‘If you’re hunting rabbits in tiger country, you must keep your eyes puled for tigers, but when you are hunting tigers you can ignore the rabbits’ (Henry Stern)

Maturity refers to the state of being fully developed, perfected and ready. It is marked in human beings by the possession of sound judgement, right sense of value and temperance. Maturity has nothing to do with chronological age and it is principally evident in what you do say and do not say. A Yoruba adage says, “Oju ni agba n ya, agba kii ya enu’ (Elders are quicker to see than to speak)
All things are lawful but not all things are expedient. It takes a mature mind to distinguish. You are beginning to mature when the things you say are more of original actions than stimulated reactions. People who exhibit this character generally command so much respect.
On the road to success, a lot of self – control, self-denial, discipline and clear–mindedness is required. Only mature minds possess these qualities. Men that know what to ignore at any point in time. Men that can forgo momentary pleasure for lasting values. Men like Joseph who can say ‘No’ to Potiphar’s wife. These the are real candidates for success. Men and not children.
‘Woe to you, O land, when your king is a child and your princes feast in the morning’ (King Solomon, the preacher)

NAIL IN THE FENCE: a new perspective about tempers

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. "

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us." Please forgive if anyone ever leaves a hole. And be careful not to leave holes...