MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 19: They would rather be right than be popular

 If my life is fruitless, it doesn't matter who praises me; if my life is fruitful, it doesn't matter who criticizes me (John Bunyan)

Success, it's been argued, is a matter of choice; and there are choices we make, I argue, that invalidate the opinions of others. For everyone who has lived through the generations past until now, the huge differences in the number of options available for getting things done is much more glaring. For instance, until 1971 it was impossible to send e-mails; you had to wait for weeks to get messages around via regular post. Today, the options are allmost limitless. That's just one example out of many. But with the new possibilities new threats have also come, and it is becoming increasingly difficult for poeople to decipher right from wrong. The end, it seems, always justifies the means.

But for everyone that would truly succeed, there would be an absolute standard of choice: the right things at all times as far human fallibility would allow. More often than not the right choice is unpopular, and could even attract stigmatisation! Nonetheless, the men whose names we remember in honour today almost all made these unpopular choices and that made all the difference. I borrow the words of Robert Frost to finish this off:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

'The Road Not Taken' in Frost, R. (1920). Mountain Interval. New York: Henry Holt and Company

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 16: They serve

Hi. As the year 2010 draws to a close, I believe you will also be taking stock. Taking stock of the things you did and did not do, the thinks you thought and did not think, the things you said and did not say and the places you went and did not go. I am doing that and in my thinking I ask my self one critical question: For how many people did I make things happen?

I can count a handful of those but as I reflected further, I came to the conclusion that making things happen for people is probably not the most important thing. Of much greater importance is making people! How many dreams have I helped to realise? How many people have I slowed down? How many people have I inspired or discouraged?

I am still taking stock and I reckon you want to do the same. For that reason I have put up the 16th part in my series on personal success. I have chosen this time for this because I strongly believe that it's all about service, whether we will find fulfillment or not. So I charge you to look back and see how well you've served and take a decision to do better in the coming year. 

What follows is the post MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 16: They serve. In it I have placed a few books that helped me and that I think might help you too. The quotes in the post do not necessarily come from those books but they are by/about the same men whose quotes I have used. Feel free to leave your comments or questions. See you on the other end!

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‘None have one chance in a billon of being thought of as really great a century after they’re gone except those who have been servants of all’ 

(Harry Fosdick)

True success is in service: Being for others what you want others to be for you. Your willingness to serve others determines how much others will be willing to do for you. You will never find anyone who will do anything for you if you never do anything for anyone.

‘Life is a lot like the game of tennis. Those who do not serve well end up losing’ (John Mason)

Believe it on not, the more you desire to serve (and the more you actually serve) and serve well, the more you will be served.  Whoever you are, you must put others before yourself if you want to amount to something.  Imagine a manufacturer thinking of profits from the sales of his products before thinking of what his consumers will like.  You know as well as l do that his business is headed for disaster. 

Happiness and satisfaction come from knowing that you are making someone better.  Albert Schweitzer got it round when he said that the only ones who will really be happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.  Greatness, according to Martin Luther King, Jr., is truly measured in servant hood. ‘

' The measure of life is not in its duration but in its donation,’ says Peter Marshall, ‘everyone can be great because everyone can serve.’

‘The greatest secret of success is to find a need and fill it’ (Robert H. Schuller)

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 12: They are Mature

‘If you’re hunting rabbits in tiger country, you must keep your eyes puled for tigers, but when you are hunting tigers you can ignore the rabbits’ (Henry Stern)

Maturity refers to the state of being fully developed, perfected and ready. It is marked in human beings by the possession of sound judgement, right sense of value and temperance. Maturity has nothing to do with chronological age and it is principally evident in what you do say and do not say. A Yoruba adage says, “Oju ni agba n ya, agba kii ya enu’ (Elders are quicker to see than to speak)
All things are lawful but not all things are expedient. It takes a mature mind to distinguish. You are beginning to mature when the things you say are more of original actions than stimulated reactions. People who exhibit this character generally command so much respect.
On the road to success, a lot of self – control, self-denial, discipline and clear–mindedness is required. Only mature minds possess these qualities. Men that know what to ignore at any point in time. Men that can forgo momentary pleasure for lasting values. Men like Joseph who can say ‘No’ to Potiphar’s wife. These the are real candidates for success. Men and not children.
‘Woe to you, O land, when your king is a child and your princes feast in the morning’ (King Solomon, the preacher)

On Integrity

‘Wise men are men of their word. The quality of a man’s life is in direct proportion to the integrity and quality of his word’. (Matthew Ashimolowo)

You are only as good as your word. Being a successful person is not all about being comfortable or ahead of others. Can you be entrusted with money? Can you be taken at your word? I would rather be poor than live a liar. Honesty and integrity go hand-in-hand. “The test of your wisdom may be your ability to walk in honesty” (Matthew Ashimolowo).
Dishonest men have a problem: they have to struggle to remember what they said sometimes ago so that they don’t say something different now. Recent researches have even shown that you burn much more energy when you lie. Your whole body system is also upset. That is exactly what the lie detecting machine exploits.
When falsely accused of extra-marital affairs by a certain woman with whom he had lived in the same neighborhood, Dr. Ben Carson had to depend on his honest way of life to maintain the confidence of his family and associates. Commit this to heart: one day, when the chips are down and everything seems to go wrong, then the strength of your integrity will determine your fate. Woe betide the man who, on such days, is found to be a fake.
‘Hold integrity high, your life may one day depend on it’.
(John Mason)

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 9: They have High Standards

‘The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become’ (Harold Taylor).

High standard is synonymous with excellence. According to Booker T. Washington, excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way. This is something you must strive to achieve if you want to be a success. Having high standards means that the bases with which you make comparisons are the best that you can find. People of high standards don’t believe in joining them if you can’t beat them.

You don’t have to be like anyone else. Why must you be among when there is mass failure in your class? Is anything wrong if only you passed? Why must you cheat because everyone else is doing it? ‘Keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world’ (George Bernard).

Remember this on your road to success: Any buried grasses you leave behind will surely grow again. It’s just a matter of time. Former House of Reps speaker, Salisu Buhari and his Toronto saga should teach everyone a lesson*.

‘Elevate your personal standards of quality … If you want greatness, then forget greatness and earnestly pursue what is right. Then you can find both’. (John Mason).

MEN THAT WILL SUCCEED 9: They have High Standards

‘The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become’ (Harold Taylor).

High standard is synonymous with excellence. According to Booker T. Washington, excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way. This is something you must strive to achieve if you want to be a success. Having high standards means that the bases with which you make comparisons are the best that you can find. People of high standards don’t believe in joining them if you can’t beat them.

You don’t have to be like anyone else. Why must you be among when there is mass failure in your class? Is anything wrong if only you passed? Why must you cheat because everyone else is doing it? ‘Keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world’ (George Bernard).

Remember this on your road to success: Any buried grasses you leave behind will surely grow again. It’s just a matter of time. Former House of Reps speaker, Salisu Buhari and his Toronto saga should teach everyone a lesson*.

‘Elevate your personal standards of quality … If you want greatness, then forget greatness and earnestly pursue what is right. Then you can find both’. (John Mason).